Everyone Loves Dick
(The Life and Times of Dick Ripper)
People only know Dick Ripper from his meltdown on a live television spot in 2018. His proclamations of love for a woman named Tammy were followed by the infamous moment he defecated on the hood of a Ford Taurus while frightened shoppers screamed in the background. He blamed the stress of the job. The quotas got higher every month and the debt never went away. The car lot became a metaphor of America.
He got out of "The Biz" shortly after the incident on Channel 32, and jumped into a career managing local punk bands. The first gig he booked was a death metal trio named Cooter Destruction. The parents of the Bar mitzvah boy were not happy, but Dick made sure the band got paid. He would go on to manage JFKFC, Tony Mellon Electric Youth Orchestra, and TSTMRKT.
Everyone Loves Dick (The Life and Times of Dick Ripper) is Produced, directed, and written by Ernest Hemmings (TSTMRKT, The Proletariat, Cancer Dog), "Everyone Loves Dick" is sure to be a hit with the whole family.